Vayerah: Parenting
Vayerah: Parenting
A major theme in the parsha is how parents sacrifice children. Every child becomes an offering. Parents usually attempt to direct their children down a path of righteousness, and/or success. Some parents abandon their children. This is also a sacrificial rite, akin to the scapegoat ritual of Yom Kippur: the abandoned goat ( probably) dies from a fall down the rocky cliff. Parents always abandon their children and usually hope that they have imparted enough guidance so that their future generations thrive and do good. That is a quality that Gd saw saw in Abraham:
כִּ֣י יְדַעְתִּ֗יו לְמַ֩עַן֩ אֲשֶׁ֨ר יְצַוֶּ֜ה אֶת־בָּנָ֤יו וְאֶת־בֵּיתוֹ֙ אַחֲרָ֔יו וְשָֽׁמְרוּ֙ דֶּ֣רֶךְ יְ
לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת צְדָקָ֖ה וּמִשְׁפָּ֑ט
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Avraham that which He has spoken of him.
The abandonments of the parsha are its drama.
Abraham, on Gd’s instruction, left his father. Our Jewish tradition emphasizes the importance of this break. Abraham was leaving the deceptions of idolatry for the truth of monotheism with the universalism and morality that it implies.
When Abraham left Haran, he brought his nephew Lot with him. Presumably Lot had some interest in Abraham’s worldview and joined the journey. In a sense, Abraham adopted Lot. Lot’s separation from Abraham, his descent to the valley of greed and riches (Sodom) and his rescue from capture by the four kings was told in the last chapter. Lot returned to Sodom and now Gd was contemplating destroying the area because of its evil. When Abraham pleads for the lives of innocents among the sinful, he does not mention his nephew. Perhaps the danger to Lot was (part of) the motivation for Abraham’s remarkable bargaining with GD, but it is not explicit. As the story unfolds, Lot, his wife and two unmarried daughters are uniquely saved by angelic intervention. This is a pattern in the parsha: Gd rescues at the last possible moment and the rescue comes from a path that was present but had previously been overlooked.
Lot had taken two angelic strangers into his home. The aggressive, violent people of Sodom wanted them. Lot offers his virgin daughters instead (the offer was refused by the Sodomites). He was willing to sacrifice his daughters for the safety of the strangers. Lot’s values are perverse, they are a distortion. The sacrifice of female offspring for worldly gain was common and remnants of that practice remain. Subsequent events in that family attest to the distorted values.
Ishmael is sacrificed through abandonment by all three of his parental figures. Sarah had given Hagar, her servant, to Abraham as a wife on the condition that she be the parent of the offspring, Ishamael. That seems not to have worked out. When Sarah sees Ishamel as a competitor with Isaac ( the issue of her body) for the legacy, she demands Ishmaels’s exile (abandonment). Abraham, Ishamael's father (on the direction of the Divine) allows the expulsion. He sends Ishmael and his mother, Hagar, into the desert with, what he believes to be, enough water to reach a well (that he has dug). But the well is gone. (Presumably the Philistine subjects of Avimelach have stolen it, as reflected in the subsequent treaty of Be’er Sheva) . When Hagar sees a terrible death by thirst looming, she separates from the boy. Divine intervention, pointing out the overlooked spring, saves Ishmael.
Avraham is told to take this very special son, the miraculous one, the son designated by Gd to be the legacy and offer him as a Holocaust. Abraham is commanded to do an absurdity. To violate the most fundamental principles, to violate the covenant of the children of Noah. By now, Abraham sees that his understanding of the world is incomplete; he replaces understanding with faith; once more, he undoes the Tree of Daath.
The Akeida ( binding of Isaac) is the culmination of rescues. What is really important to Avraham: his biological future? his emotional tie to his offspring? the will of Gd? Avraham demonstrates his willingness to give all for Gd. Avraham realizes that he cannot, ever, rescue anyone. Only the Most Powerful can rescue - and , fortunately, that is just what happens.
Now, I begin to see that my children and their children will be what they will be. I will be forced to abandon this life and they will carry on, each generation striving toward the ever-changing goals that are called The Go(o)d.