Ki Thetzeh: disappointment

This is a jarring parsha.  How should one deal with the consequences of an action that does not work out? gifts  that are Pandora's boxes hidden in Trojan horses?

We begin with the vanquished woman, the prize of conquest.She has been taken for her erotic appeal. She is subject to a formula that forces the subjugator to reconsider this relationship. She is severely stripped of her adornments, including her hair. Her feelings of loyalty to her ,now conquered, people are put on display.  His embrace is not welcomed by her;  he has acquired the pleasure of violent conquest, not love, not a lasting delight. 

The parsha ends with the instruction to wipe out Amalek because of the memory of their sneak attack. We cannot avoid looking at the symmetry.  How would we feel if we were captured by Amalek?  Does not the captured woman have these same feelings? 

Even a loveless union produces children and those children have claims that transcend the regrets of their parents. The double portion of the firstborn is not cancelled by remorse.  It is ironic that (almost) all of the transcendent heroes are not firstborn: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Judah, David: all usurpers. My mother told me: "You must create your own yichus (pedigree)."

Actually, there is a way to eliminate this troublesome firstborn child of the captive: declare him a סוֹרֵ֣ר וּמֹרֶ֔ה,  deviant and rebellious.  ( I wonder if there a relationship between sorer and lo thothuru despite the spelling) This leads to a sanctioned filicide (child killing).  The talmud presents rules for this procedure that make it essentially impossible, a threat that could not actually be carried out. 

This parsha seems dystopic. People lose things, animals are overburdened, there is rape, poverty, hanging corpses.  And there are actions to be taken to optimize the situation.  Lost objects must be returned or kept until claimed; If you see an overburdened beast, you must help rearrange the load to the benefit of both the beast and the master; food must be left for the poor at the time of the harvest.  The corrections, the tikun, does not fully correct the issue, but the effort must be expended to ameliorate the situation. 

The"bad mixture" runs through the parsha: grapes and grain, ox and donkey, wool and linen - all forbidden combinations.  They just don't go together. They are in the chapter that details the laws of divorce. 

Actually, the laws of divorce are separated from the list of prohibited combinations by the directive to put fringes on garments. Rashi quotes the Talmud (Yevomoth 4a) to tell us that, om the basis of this juxtaposition, the shatnez ( wool and linen) prohibition can be overridden  to fulfill the mitzvah of tzitzith (fringes). The next verse opens the section on divorce. 

The  talmud ( Menochoth 44a) relates a story of a man who went to consort with the queen of prostitutes, the most beautiful woman in the world, and both of them were reformed from degradation and brought to love by an explanation of tzitzith. He explained that the tzitzith are a reminder of Gd's judgement for the present and for the future.    The relationship between tztitzit and erotic decisions has always been before my eyes.  When I take off my tzitzit, I consider what I am doing - in the eyes of Gd.The permissibly of the otherwise forbidden combination adds to the impact of tzithzith.   It is a reminder to consider the worlds of  consequence that devolve from my actions. 

Ammonium nitrate gives life as a fertilizer.  It is also explosive.